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Funny Confessions by parents

by Elyse Mallay

Because at times, children behavior makes no sense.

I often wondered what life would look like while I was pregnant with my now 3-year-old daughter. I foreshadowed lots of traveling, showing her the world and conversations about the importance of being kind, inclusion, and how to be confident. What I didn’t fantasize is the absurd amount of time I’d spend telling her not to lick the fridge, or the creative bargains I’d make so she wouldn’t open the door on me mid-pee in a public restroom. “Do not open that door, or you will never be allowed to use the purple crayons again.” Don’t judge I was feeling quite vulnerable in the moment. And truth is, not even a law degree would help you win an argument with a toddler over a purple crayon.

Parents are sharing some of the weird moments in the child bringing. Here are some of the funniest and absurd comments from reddit:

When they prefer to make their lives harder

You know how when you have a toddler and try to use the bathroom they cry outside the door? Well, since it’s just me and her around I decided to just leave the door open. That should solve the problem, right? No. Toddler decided to close the door so she could cry outside of it.

 

Mine cried for five straight minutes at bedtime because she “wanted to close her eyes”....

 

My son - I think he was 4 or 5 then - went out the front door to get in the car so we could leave. It was raining. He didn’t want to get wet, so he stood there on the (uncovered) front porch, crying, and refusing to move. In the rain. Where he was getting wet.

 

When what they do kind of makes sense... but never mind, not really

My toddler wants to help me wipe and tries to check my butt (not just in the bathroom) to see if it’s clean. I guess I do it to him too, so it’s fair.

 

Bent over, spread her butt cheeks, and yelled "Papa! It's time to get in my bum!" She wanted him to put her on his shoulders. It kind of makes sense if you think about from her perspective.

 

I would give each kid a chocolate chip cookie. Before eating, both would set to counting the visible chocolate chips. The one who got a lower number would scream about the injustices of life.

 

When they’re just too literal

I told my seven year old to take a shower before bed. He did, then dressed himself in his own Pajamas. I found some shampoo in his hair and told him to wash it out. He came back downstairs when he was done... and found he had showered in his pajamas. He was SURPRISED when I told him you are not supposed to be fully clothed when you go into the shower.
My son is smart, like really smart. But his comes from books and the like, not that wonderful common sense or street smarts like you'd hope they have. Of course he's seven so there's room to grow, right? Right????

 

We watched toy story 4 for the first time when it came out on Disney plus. When they started playing "you got a friend in me" I kind of joked "hey, I know this song!" (because we've been watching A LOT of toy story lately.) now every time we watch toy story 4 (like i said, it's a lot), my 3yo will turn to me in the beginning and say "daddy you know this song!" sometimes the things you would never consider important really stick with them.

 

When DNA is not in question

He is 8 and he’s super smart. Wins all the reading and math awards at school. But the kid has tried to put on his school clothes over his pajamas numerous times. And he’s so forgetful! I’ll ask him to put something away in his room and sometimes he will forget what he’s doing on the way to his room. He takes ukulele and guitar lessons weekly. The guitar studio is next to the baseball fields. Last spring, we were driving to one of his baseball games, with him fully dressed in his uniform and cleats, and he asked me if he was going to his ukulele lesson. We call him The Absent-Minded Professor.

 

  --------------------------------------------------------

Truth is, it’s all madness and we’re all in this together. Storytelling, and sharing experiences with other parents has become a welcomed safe haven in this world of parenting. There are the times they’ll cry cause the food they bit is now “broken” or those times they’ll put on their school clothes over their pajamas. None of us knows what we are doing but we’re doing it anyways, and might I add, you’re doing a mighty fine job momma/dadda. What’s the latest episode of cray cray in your household?

X

Oh, before you cancel your diaper subscription…

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To help us be our best, we’d appreciate hearing your feedback in a quick survey. And please be honest, we really do listen.

Potty trained, yes!

(And you thought it would never happen…)

Congrats on graduating from diapers to big kid undies. You (both) did it! Tag this milestone @parasolco and give other parents hope that their day, too, will come.

Upgrade to a membership and save (big time).

If you haven’t joined our new membership program, you’re missing out on our best value, biggest savings and free perks exclusively for members. You can upgrade your subscription to a membership just by ordering a 3-pack box of diapers. With each 3-pack box, you’ll receive 4 free packs of baby wipes, plus two diaper gift packs to share, one each for two friends. You’ll also save 20% off all future orders, enjoy lifetime savings, can apply extra promo discounts, and can cancel or change diaper delivery service at any time. Ready to upgrade?

Need to take a timeout?

One of the conveniences of a Parasol diaper subscription or membership is being able to hit Pause. Maybe you’re traveling, maybe someone just gifted you a month of diapers, whatever the reason, you can pause your diaper orders and come back when you’re ready. Just go to your account, select Edit Subscriptions and make your choice. And when you’re time out is up, we’ll always be here for you (that’s called unconditional love).

We can make the switch without a hitch.

Maybe it’s time to graduate to a new diaper size? Or to go from diapers to diaper pants? Or from diaper pants to wipes? Some customers think the only option they have to change products is to cancel a subscription and then start a new one (we can all agree that seems rather complicated). The good news is our Customer Service team can change your choice in the system, easy peasy. Just reach out to us at hello@parasolco.com (we never nap), and we’ll take it from there.

X

Oh, before you cancel your baby wipes subscription…

Can you please share your reason for canceling?

Can we make that all better?

Just for you, 15% off your next order.

We’re sorry that your experience with our diapers didn’t meet your expectations and hope you’ll give them another try to see why so many parents are devoted Parasol fans. As a thank you, enter the Discount Code 15OFFCART to receive 15% off a one-time entire cart purchase (no product limits, no expiration date).

To help us be our best, we’d appreciate hearing your feedback in a quick survey. And please be honest, we really do listen.

Potty trained, yes!

(And you thought it would never happen…)

Congrats on graduating from diapers to big kid undies. You (both) did it! Tag this milestone @parasolco and give other parents hope that their day, too, will come.

Not all baby wipes are created equal.

Baby wipes aren’t all priced the same...because they’re not made the same. Our new plant-based Clear+Pure™ baby wipes are dermatologist-certified and formulated with only the purest ingredients. They’re stronger to prevent tearing, more effective at getting baby really clean with fewer wipes...and they dispense one wipe at a time. At the end of a long day of changing diapers (and at the bottom of your baby’s bum), that is all clearly the best value we know.

Need to take a timeout?

One of the conveniences of a Parasol diaper subscription or membership is being able to hit Pause. Maybe you’re traveling, maybe someone just gifted you a month of diapers, whatever the reason, you can pause your diaper orders and come back when you’re ready. Just go to your account, select Edit Subscriptions and make your choice. And when you’re time out is up, we’ll always be here for you (that’s called unconditional love).

Before you swipe left on our wipes…

As you shop and compare wipes to find the one best for your baby, it’s important to do your homework because all baby wipes are not created equal. Our new plant-based Clear+Pure™ baby wipes are dermatologist-certified and formulated with only the purest ingredients.They’re stronger to prevent tearing, more effective at getting baby really clean with fewer wipes...and they dispense one wipe at a time. At the end of a long day of changing diapers (and at the bottom of your baby’s bum), that is all clearly the best value we know.

X

Oh, before you cancel your diaper pants subscription…

Can you please share your reason for canceling?

Can we make that all better?

Just for you, 15% off your next order.

We’re sorry that your experience with our diapers pants didn’t meet your expectations and hope you’ll give them another try to see why so many parents are devoted Parasol fans. As a thank you, enter the Discount Code 15OFFCART to receive 15% off a one-time entire cart purchase (no product limits, no expiration date).

To help us be our best, we’d appreciate hearing your feedback in a quick survey. And please be honest, we really do listen.

Potty trained, yes!

(And you thought it would never happen…)

Congrats on graduating from diapers pants to big kid undies. You (both) did it! Tag this milestone @parasolco and give other parents hope that their day, too, will come.

Upgrade to a membership and save (big time).

If you haven’t joined our new membership program, you’re missing out on our best value, biggest savings and free perks exclusively for members. You can upgrade your subscription to a membership just by ordering a 3-pack box of diapers. With each 3-pack box, you’ll receive 4 free packs of baby wipes, plus two diaper gift packs to share, one each for two friends. You’ll also save 20% off all future orders, enjoy lifetime savings, can apply extra promo discounts, and can cancel or change diaper delivery service at any time. Ready to upgrade?

Need to take a timeout?

One of the conveniences of a Parasol diaper subscription or membership is being able to hit Pause. Maybe you’re traveling, maybe someone just gifted you a month of diapers, whatever the reason, you can pause your diaper orders and come back when you’re ready. Just go to your account, select Edit Subscriptions and make your choice. And when you’re time out is up, we’ll always be here for you (that’s called unconditional love).

We can make the switch without a hitch.

Maybe it’s time to graduate to a new diaper size? Or to go from diapers to diaper pants? Or from diaper pants to wipes? Some customers think the only option they have to change products is to cancel a subscription and then start a new one (we can all agree that seems rather complicated). The good news is our Customer Service team can change your choice in the system, easy peasy. Just reach out to us at hello@parasolco.com (we never nap), and we’ll take it from there.

X

Oh, before you cancel your baby lotion subscription…

Can you please share your reason for canceling?

Can we make that all better?

Just for you, 15% off your next order.

We’re sorry that your experience with our lotion didn’t meet your expectations and hope you’ll give them another try to see why so many parents are devoted Parasol fans. As a thank you, enter the Discount Code 15OFFCART to receive 15% off a one-time entire cart purchase (no product limits, no expiration date).

To help us be our best, we’d appreciate hearing your feedback in a quick survey. And please be honest, we really do listen.

Potty trained, yes!

(And you thought it would never happen…)

Congrats on graduating from diapers to big kid undies. You (both) did it! Tag this milestone @parasolco and give other parents hope that their day, too, will come.

Not all baby lotions are created equal.

Baby lotions aren’t all priced the same...because they’re not made the same.

Need to take a timeout?

One of the conveniences of a Parasol lotion subscription or membership is being able to hit Pause. Maybe you’re traveling, maybe someone just gifted you a month of lotion, whatever the reason, you can pause your lotion orders and come back when you’re ready. Just go to your account, select Edit Subscriptions and make your choice. And when you’re time out is up, we’ll always be here for you (that’s called unconditional love).

Before you swipe left on our lotion…

As you shop and compare lotion to find the one best for your baby, it’s important to do your homework because all baby lotion are not created equal.

X

Oh, before you cancel your baby shampoo - body wash subscription…

Can you please share your reason for canceling?

Can we make that all better?

Just for you, 15% off your next order.

We’re sorry that your experience with our shampoo - body wash didn’t meet your expectations and hope you’ll give them another try to see why so many parents are devoted Parasol fans. As a thank you, enter the Discount Code 15OFFCART to receive 15% off a one-time entire cart purchase (no product limits, no expiration date).

To help us be our best, we’d appreciate hearing your feedback in a quick survey. And please be honest, we really do listen.

Potty trained, yes!

(And you thought it would never happen…)

Congrats on graduating from diapers to big kid undies. You (both) did it! Tag this milestone @parasolco and give other parents hope that their day, too, will come.

Not all baby shampoo - body wash are created equal.

Baby shampoo - body wash aren’t all priced the same...because they’re not made the same.

Need to take a timeout?

One of the conveniences of a Parasol lotion subscription or membership is being able to hit Pause. Maybe you’re traveling, maybe someone just gifted you a month of lotion, whatever the reason, you can pause your shampoo - body wash orders and come back when you’re ready. Just go to your account, select Edit Subscriptions and make your choice. And when you’re time out is up, we’ll always be here for you (that’s called unconditional love).

Before you swipe left on our shampoo - body wash…

As you shop and compare shampoo - body wash to find the one best for your baby, it’s important to do your homework because all baby shampoo - body wash are not created equal.

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